half_price

so i'm at the moment a little drunk and sad so excuse this post if it don't make sense. gut i like i thought he liked me too. but i doubt it now. i knew he had a warning label attached so why did i want to get involved. he seammed like a nice guy and he seemed to be into me and he was a good kisser. i figured i'd join D watching G's soccer game because guy plays soccer with G we could hang out at bar afterwards. however guy spent entire bartime flirting with some other girls and didn`t even say hello to me. i feel so rejected, and sad and a little drunk. i need to start listening to the warnings. i should go crawl into bed and pretend none of this bothers me cause i didn;t realise it would bother me until tonight

i am so very confused. im trying to figure out if this guy likes me in a more than fool around every once in awhile sort of way or not. its frustrating and i don't know what to think. fracking confusing.

so i'm having a minor freak out sort of day. i'm apartment hunting and job hunting at the same time and i feel like i'm losing my mind. apartment hunting i'm freaking out about because i'm basically trying to lease a place on my own and i don't know what i'm doing when i'm looking at the application. right now i'm renting a room the lease is done july 31 my roomate is almost completely moved out she plans to be completely done by mid july and i haven't got a place yet, and i don't know what to do about references and its freaking me out.

i've applied to a couple of different jobs earlier this week and a couple of them have already called me to set up an interview. i wasn't expecting to hear back for a week or two. in all honesty i didn't even think they would call me for an interview.
my head hurts and i'm freaking out about the fact that i am getting called for an interview.

there was some mutual likeage not to long ago with someone but i'm thinking it was mixed signals or something.

and while i'm ranting i might as well throw in that all through my teenage years i had a perfect complexion and now at midtwenties i'm having problems with acne. its a pain in the ass.

its time for sleep.

i had a great day today. my sister and nephew came into the city today to have owen's 18 month portrait done. owen was very good with his pictures and then we went shopping. i bought some yarn and a new sweater and i found out that pushing a shopping cart and baby stroller at the same time is very difficult. then stacey and owen came back to my apartment and owen started to play with the microwave then stacey's phone and owen put stacey's cell phone in the microwave and turned the microwave on before we noticed. my nephew is a little terror.

boyfriend broke up with me today. we dated for almost two years. it really hadn't been right for the past couple of months and really i was expecting it to happen. i cried for a bit after he left but i feel kind of numb now.

i'm considering doing the run for the cure this fall. its two months away which would give me lots of time to get ready for it. its a 5k so its not like i'd be doing a marathon. it would be good motovation to actually run on a regular basis because i've tried to but i son't stick with it. so the run could work as a motivational thing.

i can't figure out if i'm talking myself into it or talking myself out of it

I think i have my roommate addicted to doctor who with me. i've been watching it like crazy and she started watching it with me. YAY another doctor who fan.

i am sad and miserable. work has made me miserable. my manager quit and her last day was this week. i know i have trouble adjusting to new people and adjusting to changes. but work is makeing me miserable. for the past two weeks i'm almost crying every day that i'm there. i need a new job. the problem i'm haveing though is that i want out of retail. i very much want a monday to friday sort of job. but i am not done school until april so monday to friday isn't really possible and i don't want a job for a few months and then have to find a new job.

i've got a new i'm so excited. after so many months without my own computer i'm all excited. i'm trying to figure out how to use my webcam. i so want to read nothing but fanfic for the next few days because i haven't read any since my last computer broke.

i'm disappointed today. i wanted to take a second class in the winter term. i don't know why i know that one course and working full time is enough to keep me busy but i figured hey why not especially since the women's studies department was offering a critical race feminism course that was only one day a week (that's a good thing for me). but i woke up this morning/afternoon i checked my email and i found out that this course is no longer being offered.


only a few more days and christmas hours will be done. (this is my happy thought).

i feel so much like i want to cry. its dec. 6 again and like every year i feel overwhelmed.

i can't pick a topic for my research methods class. its driving me crazy. i need to pick a topic soon and i've been thinking about topics but none of them seem right. i want to bang my head against a wall.

on another note work is making me bitter. christmas hours start on saturday christmas music starts on sunday. christmas shoppers are less pleasent then normal shoppers. i'm really hateing christmas and its only november.

take back the night was last night. it was a night of highs and lows. i felt powerful and safe and i felt like i was in this great women positive environment. it felt so incredible to be marching and chanting. it felt incredible to be around that many women set against stopping violence against women and misogyny. but today was just so draining for me. i have been so frustrated today. its hard to go from this women positive cunt lovin' sort of environment to one that is hurtful and hate-filled.

so my life is starting to feel like a bad horror movie. the bus stop i take to go from polo park is under construction and relocated to by a cemetery. so when i close at night i have to stand in front of a cemetery in the dark. and the first little bit it was very foggy and murky. so i'm just waiting for the zombies to attack.
on other work news we have finally found a new MT. which is the position that i wanted. he, yes he started on monday. he has been sick all week so i'm told and he only actually called in twice to say he was sick. ya i'm not impressed. cause its also WTF i'm not qualified for this position but i have to train the guy that they hired.

on other news mom is really good at making me feel guilty. she does it in such a nice way that its not until the conversation is over that i have to do what she tells me to do that i at times don't want to do or not sure if i wanted to do it. but i know that if i don't do what she asks i'm going to make myself feel guilty because i didn't do it. does this make sense.

had planned to head to die machine for my bday on thursday its 80s nite and always a good time. but i heard that it is going to close. does anyone know when?

so today was an emotional rollercoaster for me. mom phoned this morning saying sister was hospitalized last night and the doctors were thinking of moving her from neepawa to brandon today because she was not dilated. so i've been freaking out all day thinking what if something happens to sister, what if something happens to baby, fuck why am i at work. fuckity fuck fuck. so i am now an auntie. i have a nephew and i am drinking a bottle of wine and doing shots of JD with roomie because she had a craptastic day and i need a drink.

ok so i'm on roomie's computer because my computer started shooting out little blue electrical sparks at me. blah! this is the first time i've been on a computer since friday and i was going out of my mind missing my computer. may possibly need a new computer since blue sparks seem like they make things unfixable. blah! thats what i'm planning on doing on my day off this week look at computers. this really sucks.
on other news we still haven't hired an MT at work. that really sucks cause we are understaffed as it is. at least i'm not being led on any more and thinking that i might get it although i don't know why i didn't get it. the more i think about it the more confused i am.
and still not an auntie yet. sister is a week and a half overdue and still no baby.

well i finally found out about getting promoted at work. i didn't get the position that i wanted but i did get a promotion. my manager just offered it to me. its still considered part time but i am guaranteed more hours then in my current position. there is also a pay raise i don't know how much yet but it is something.

i'm trying to figure out what to get roomie for her b'day its next week and she is turning 21. i have no idea what to get her. she is one of my brestfriends and i know that i can always count on her so i want to get her something great. i think i'll go shopping friday and see what i can find.

i've finished the deathly hallows i think it could be my favorite of the 7. so many times i was almost crying and i was laughing only a few pages later.